Friday, April 24, 2009

Atonement

The moral of the story is: never write a perverse thought, even in jest. The moment our protagonist does, every single viewer in the audience knows what is coming.

Atonement is one of those exercises in suffering. Think of the most tragic love story possible and then film it professionally, artistically, and beautifully. Make the viewer suffer with the tragedy of it all. Let the bad guy get away; tease the audience with a hint of a happy ending and then rip it all away like a Band-aid.

The worst part about it all is that it is unintentionally funny. Well, at least laughable.

Can’t bring yourself to declare your love? Write a pornographic letter. Are you in self-denial about your feelings? Said porn letter will open your eyes. Then you can have a moment of passion…your first ever…on a ladder, fully clothed, and be interrupted in the act.

Yet that moment of lustful passion will be enough to seal the lover’s passion for years of separation. Oh, but you must make sure their lives are both devoid of any normality or events outside of the all consuming passion of getting back together to finally “finish up” as it were. The have them DIE!

Oh, and have the whole story revolve around a girl that, as she ages 60 years, always wears the same hair clip so the audience can recognize her.

How did this mess ever get into the Best Picture hunt?

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