Set aside all your arguments about equality, obedience, submission and head of the family. Peter has already been consistent with other New Testament writings about believers deferring and respecting everyone. Here he goes on to be consistent again. In the marriage relationship there is to be a lot of submission, and there is instruction here going both ways. Submission, respect, and honor are all big tasks.
However, even in couples where submission is the aim, something is missing. More than obedience or yielding to his decisions, what a man really needs is respect and admiration. Men are a lot less insecure in relationships these days. They don’t have to be in control to lead. They are smart enough to see the value and advantage of consulting with and trusting wisdom in their wives. You would think that this growth would be mirrored by an increased appreciation for husbands in wives.
Unfortunately, men still tend to be the brunt of derision and exasperation. And, as a generality we tend to earn our share of ridicule. But from the woman we have pledged our life to… Even when this is just in jest, it can be devastating because men need to know someone is on their side. Someone who believes in him, who will encourage him to chase his dreams and his mission. While the whole world mocks and tears a man down, a wife can stand in the gap and give him something to hold onto.
So maybe we should dial back the standards by which we measure submission and start with one basic aim. Wives, can you cheer for your man?